And I felt like a murderer. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. My wife turned the screen away from her. . I noticed the box of tissues on the table. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. We felt as if we were in limbo. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home I think it's the same - in fact I think it was probably the same room, same consultant - and [sighs] I suppose it felt upsetting because at the dating scan you're full of hope and this scan we knew wasn't going to be good, we knew it was maybe the last time we would see the baby moving around. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. I was wondering if anyone has been is this situation and can give me a glimmer of hope. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. I feel empty and incomplete. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. The weeks since that day have been very weird. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. So I no longer trusted my instincts. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. But you could see there was something wrong? I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. Baby loss stories . Then I picked myself up. But other than that everything was fine. Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. See you in -. And at that, I let out a scream I think. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. However, at the time neither of us could articulate that. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. That was the first time I had heard him cry. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. Christmas came and went in a blur of emotion, it felt so wrong to be celebrating when we were in such turmoil. But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. Nice people shouldn't hear about what we'd done. Well send you a link to a feedback form. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. This time, they discovered the baby has a two vessel cord (only one vessel from placenta to baby instead of two) and I've been monitored to make sure the baby grows properly and kidneys aren't damaged. The blood test confirmed it was twins. And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. And I, and, I felt the weight of deciding what to do about it. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. That they could have spotted something, or not? Not marginalised into being a victim. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. And it's like, I really wanted to see it and I didn't, and it was it was very mixed. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. So we left it there, and we didn't actually think that there was anything really to worry about after that scan. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. We've joined the grown-ups and we both feel very different. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. I took my vitamins, stuck to the healthy diet and put on a brave face. And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. I want to be nice again. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. I was becoming numb to the whole process. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. There was complete silence during the scan. But it was very evident. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. The same anxious wait for a little, pathetic cry. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. My partner really wanted me to, and by that time I had no sense of what was right or what I should do. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. And so began the most bizarre day of my life. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. My heart goes out to you OP. I felt the dread run through me. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. It was real. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. But even if I was there, I still think I would have wanted to see the detail on the scan. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. Saturday came. After that I got, I, it was about in, in 19-, hang on a minute, 2001 I got pregnant again, slightly unexpectedly. You do not have to have the scan. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan.

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